Everyone Looks
by georginaBOB
Summary: Joey will learn that a look can hurt. In fact it can kill. Kill a hope, a love, a person. Joey finally realizes what and WHO is important in her life. Is it DAWSON? Is it PACEY? Joey finally see the boy who has been quietly waiting for her in the backgrou
1. Chapter 1

** Everyone Looks **

**Chapter 1**

This is supposed to be set sometime after "The Kids Are Alright" and "The Song Remains the Same"

It may sound silly, but a look can hurt. In fact it can kill. Kill a hope, a love, a person.

_My one night, my first night, and maybe even my last night with Dawson didn't exactly go the way either one of us planned. And it may sound cruel but in some ways I like it that way. Don't get me wrong Dawson is and will forever be my soul mate. But its nice to know that there are still empty pages in our book, our love story. I mean what if we had stayed together and then we realized that we were only meant to be soul mates and not lovers. That would be the end of it, no "to be continued" just "THE END." _

_I watch the pen in my hand slowly write down my thoughts onto a page in my diary. The same diary that had caused our first fight as a couple. The same diary that I had spent so many hours writing in after we had our first "make up." I put my pen down, and turn to the beginning. I start to flip through it, flip through my life. My father, my mothers death, "No glove, no love." Every life altering moment is written down in this book. _

_I stop at a page filled up with everything Pacey. My writing about him has changed drastically over the years. As I reach the page where I last left off, I notice that my handwriting has been getting smaller and smaller. Maybe its because I don't want to reach the last page, because I don't want this to end, because I don't want to start another. _

_I hear someone at the door, clumsily trying to open it. Obviously Audrey. I close my diary, and before tucking it safely under my bed I silently bid my writings adieu_.

"Joey, what are doing!" Audrey asks hurriedly, only half caring.

"Nothing."

"Why the hell are you doing nothing? Are you dressed? Are you ready? We need to leave now, she awaits us at the airport." Audrey says from inside the bathroom, making sure she looks perfect for her oldest friends arrival.

"Audrey I don't see why we have to pick her up, can't she just take a cab down to Hell's Kitchen?" Joey sits up and turns to the bathroom door.

"Well yeah she can do that. But would you want to arrive to an old unshavin' cab driver?... Bunny, would it put a hop in your step if I told you that Dawson was going to be there?"

"Dawsons going to be there?" Joey says already on her feet.

Audrey finally steps out of the bathroom and makes a face. "Yes. And now I believe you are hopping."

Joey is at a lost of words, "smart" words to be exact."He came all the way from L.A. just to meet Christina?" Joey asks, knowing that her question was stupid.

"No, he's in town for some Hollywood-assistant-errand-work type thingy. I don't know. But he called me last night and told me he would be in, so I invited him."Joey dumbstruck, Audrey grabs onto Joeys wrist and starts leading her out the door.

_An hour or so has passed. I am now in the backseat of Audreys car listening to the loud upbeat conversation that is going on between Audrey and Christina up-front. I have received several invitations to join in on their hyped up babble, but I'd rather stay lost in my thoughts. One particular subject that is running laps in my head is, Dawson. When is he not up there? _

_The car has stopped, we're here, good old Hells Kitchen. I realize that I am only a few short steps and a door away from him. Would it be rude if I turned and ran? Would they notice? Gawd! Why am I being so immature, its Dawson._ _I take a deep breathe and begin to walk, Audrey smiles at me and takes hold of my hand, which makes this easier. It is not so much Dawson himself who is making this hard for me, it's more of the inevitable awkwardness. _

_4, 5 ,6- by the 8th step we'll be at the entrance. As I take the seventh I can already in vision his face, his eyes burning wholes into my heart. _

_The door has opened and I step inside, I feel Audreys hand squeeze mine. Everything seems to be in slow motion now, geez I feel like I'm playing the lead in some cliche' filled movie. I reach out to hold Audreys hand tighter but nothing there. I hadn't notice that she let go. I hear her voice, "come on Joey," she says. It takes me a few seconds to convince myself that I'll be alright. That I'll be able to get through all of Dawsons longing, and sad looks my way. I put a smile on and I quickly follow Audrey and Christina. I can already see Jen, Jack, Pacey and Dawson talking it up at the back table, they haven't noticed us yet._

_We're still a few steps away and already Audrey has begun Christinas introduction. Every face at that table is smiling. I turn to look at Dawson, expecting to get a look that'll break my heart. One of those looks that can kill you. But he's not looking at me he's looking at someone else, at Christina. _

**It may sound silly, but a look can hurt. In fact it can kill. Kill a hope, a love, a person**

Please leave some reviews. If I get some good feed back, I'll write another chapter to this. But I a newbie and im only 15 so please go easy ; )


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Feelings**

_I am sitting here in between Audrey and Pacey, and I feel nothing. Why is that? How come I am so numb?_

_The conversation between this group, my friends, is running long and loud. But I hear nothing, their mouths are moving but to me nothing is coming out. This prevents me from joining in. So I just sit there, I sit and observe._

_I watch Dawson, he is talking and laughing. Obviously he is enjoying himself. I notice that every now and then he quickly looks over at Christina. I wonder what he is thinking. Why is he so taken by her? I slowly turn my head her way to find out for myself. _

_I have decided that the most interesting thing about her is the way she moves. When Christina talks she uses every part of her body. She also likes to use hand gestures, big hand gestures. And she never really sits still, she's very fidgety. All this may make someone look rough and aggressive but somehow she makes it graceful. _

_Christina has this mouth that you just have to look at. She has these big pink lips that seem to pout on their own. Her eyes are a deep color and if you look closely they almost seem a dark blue. Her looks seem to resemble those of an Eurasian women, she probably is of mixed blood. All in all she would be considered a grade A beauty by the majority of the population._

_I turn back to Dawson, who is quiet now. He is looking down at his drink absentmindedly fingering his straw. I can tell that he too is lost in his thoughts. Suddenly he looks up, and we make eye contact. I shouldn't have sat directly in front of him. A smile forms on his face and for some reason that makes me angry. I smile back anyway._

_I notice the painting that hangs on the wall in back of Jen. I begin to study it. It is mostly made up of dark colors. The painting is of a male and a female figure trapped inside of what appears to be a tornado. And in between the two figures is an X. As I stare at it I start to remember how numb feel. I reach down in my lap and without taking my eyes off the painting I pinch my left hand. I don't feel it._

_There is now this warm tingling on my right knee. I look down to see what it is. It's a hand... Pacey's hand. I reach out to hold it. Slowly the sounds and voices around me come to. Pacey has made the numbness go away and I am thankful. _

"You alright Joe?" Pacey asks.

"Yeah. I am now. Thank you."

"Why do I get a thank you?"

"You get one because you made it go away." I say.

_Pacey gives me a big smile. I can tell that he is a bit confused but its okay. He slowly starts taking his hand out of mine but I don't let him. I don't let him because I want to hold onto this feeling. And with each minute that his hand is in mine I feel more alive. _


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3**

**Complete Freak**

_It is now 9:42 in the morning. I have class in an hour, and I didn't do my assigned reading._ _I look over at Audrey who is as dead as a rock. Her class starts in ten and I seriously doubt that she'll be attending._

"Audrey! You have class in ten minutes! Wake up!" I demand after throwing pillow at her head.

"Ugh! Joe-eeey! (moan/groan/screech/yawn)"She says before hiding in the covers and going back to sleep. Yep. She won't be going to class anytime soon.

_All of the clothes I wore yesterday are laying on the floor next to my bed. My white button-up blouse is the first thing I notice. I pick it up. It may sound weird but I start to smell it. I smell every inch of my blouse. And no, not to check if I had some serious case of B.O. But to check if Dawson had left his scent on it. _

_Last night before going our separate ways we hugged. A good and short friendly hug. A hug that I didn't want but desperately needed. _

_My nose starts to get this tingly sensation. I have found it. This is going to make me sound like a complete freak but I smell it, I smell it long and hard. I realize that Dawson still smells the same way he did when we were 15. And it is not because he continues to use overly priced, names-too-hard-to-say cologne. The smell is just... Dawson. _

_Audrey begins to mumble in her sleep. And that takes me out of my thoughts. I look at my watch. Oh crap! Class is in twenty and it takes me at least 15 to get there. I hurriedly grab my book bag and head out. And just as I close the dorm door I realize that I still have the dumb blouse in my hand. _

**Later that day. Dawsons point of view.**

_They're dorm door is slightly open and from where I am standing I can see Audrey. She is laying on her bed with her head phones on, rocking back and forth while reading Elle. Typical. I stretch out my hand to knock._ _No answer. She probably has her cd player on full blast. After a few seconds I knock again and still no answer. I finally decided to go in._

_I am now standing right at the foot of Audrey's bed. And still I have yet to be noticed. She is either reading a very, very, very interesting article, or I am just plain invisible. _

"Audrey? Audrey? Audrey!" She finally looks up. Audrey takes off her head phones and smiles.

"Hey Dawson! How long have you been here?" She asks.

"Oh umm not long." I lie. "So uh...is Joey here?" Stupid question. It's obvious that she isn't.

"Nope. No she isn't. Why? What do you need?" She says. I'm not sure but I think Audrey is studying my face.

"Nothing. I just wanted to talk to her. We didn't really get to talk last night."

"Yeah. Hey you have a thing for Chris don't you?" She asks curiously.

This completely throws me off kilter. "What? No. No? No." As I say this she quickly glances at the bathroom door.

"Dawson don't lie! You're not a liar. Not a good one at least." She says.

"Audrey I barely even know her!" Which is true. "Why are you even asking me this?"

"Because I want to know. Because you gave her a look." Another quick glance toward the bathroom.

" A look? You think I have a "thing" for Christina because I looked at her? Audrey that's beyond stupid." I say.

"No not because you just looked at her. But because you LOOKED at her." She says, emphasizing the last looked. "You gave her a look...a look.. a look that was filled with feeling, with passion, with longing." She says dramatically, throwing her hand to her heart and everything. "Oh and Dawson you should be more careful with those because they can also hurt. Hurt someone who isn't on the receiving end of it. Someone like Joey."

"But Audrey I didn't give her that look!" I say. I am now even beginning to question myself.

"Ah hah! See you might not have given her that look but you do admit to giving her a look."

" Audrey what look?" As the question mark jumps out of my mouth the bathroom door slowly begins to open...

_and out steps Christina. Looking at her is the closest thing anyone can get to looking at an angel. Why am I so captivated by this girl? I only met her less than twenty four hours ago and already my heart beats for her. She looks up at me and smiles a big beautiful Christina smile. Her smile brightens up the room._

"Oh hey Dawson!" She says, still smiling.

_I managed to get my mouth into a smile. A goofy and somewhat creepy smile. _

Audrey grows excited. " Dawson that look! The one on your face right now! I'd tell you to go look in the mirror but I'm afraid it'll wonder away if you move."

_With that said the look goes away on its own_.

"Audrey what are you talking about?" Christina wonders.

_Before either of us have time to give Christina a well thought up explanation someone enters the room. Joey._ _And even though I don't completely know or believe in the "look" I quickly shut my eyes. Just in case. I don't want another "look" for Christina to pop on my face while Joey is there. I don't want her to see. I don't want to hurt her._

**Sorry guys for taking awhile to update. I just started school so I don't have a lot of time to do this. But I'll try to get in atleast two updates every week.**


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